Recently, I was in Seattle with some friends. It’s been awhile since I’ve visited with many of them and goodness, it was nice just catching up with each other. Not surprisingly, it was an emotional weekend because a ton of stuff has happened in the last few years within our circle of friends.
Flying back to Anchorage, it occurred to me how different this trip was compared to the many “girl trips” that had come before. On those trips, I was “the rock” – the one who had her life together, wasn’t bothered by anything, and appeared to be as happy and content as she could be.
Of course, that was all a facade. All it took was one itsy bitsy divorce to make my life, and the facade that came with it, come tumbling down. But that’s another story and not one to be shared on this blog.
In any event, I wrote this little poem on the flight back and thought you’d enjoy reading it. It’ll eventually go in the collection of poems I’m writing for a fundraiser (see NoKidHungry posts of the past).
Once you give yourself permission to show it, it is amazing how easy it is for it to peak out more and more often.
And that which you feared about having on display becomes a distant memory as those you trust become accustomed to seeing you wear it.”
Here’s a little truth for ya. The facade I spent tons of energy creating and maintaining prior to my divorce…it probably kept me from having true and authentic relationships with my friends, my neighbors, my clients, my kids and even my siblings. While I was fairly comfortable behind that mask, it wasn’t good for me. You know that, I know that…why pawn it off as anything different?
I’m pretty damn vulnerable nowadays, and of course I don’t love it, but I’m comfortable with it, and that’s good enough.