Developing Trust
I received a call the other day from a dear man who needed my help. He was weary of calling his employer’s Human Resources representative because he had no faith in her ability to
1) listen to him,
2) understand him, and
3) help him.
While I was flattered he trusted me, this made me sad because honestly, this man’s perception is one I hear a lot.
Listening
Too often do HR professionals fail to listen!
We have a tendency to railroad the conversation; we can’t seem to help ourselves and we interrupt the flow of information! We struggle with seeing past our own perspectives and sadly, are unable to adequately put ourselves in the others’ shoes. In addition, we often attempt to multi-task during the exchange or act like we are paying attention but fail to really hear.
We must develop and utilize good listening skills. This means we must keep an open mind, we must see things from the employee’s perspective, and we must allow them to talk, vent or otherwise “get it all out.” We should give the employee our full, undivided attention to ensure they know they are important and valued.
Understanding
Employee’s concerns, issues and problems are complex to them.
If they believed they were easy to fix, or if they could figure it out themselves, they wouldn’t bother coming to us! That being said, we need to appreciate there is a degree of vulnerability with the employee who comes to us…and with that comes the need to be understood! The employee needs to leave trusting his/her needs will be met and this assurance will not come if we fail to truly understand what they need or desire from us.
We need to develop and utilize good interviewing skills. This is not just asking a few questions! It includes active listening techniques such as paraphrasing and summarizing the information offered. It includes using our knowledge of verbal, para-verbal and non-verbal communication cues to fully recognize and appreciate the thoughts of the employee. It includes logical reasoning and critical thinking skills so we can draw some conclusions (and validate them with employee) and/or anticipate what other issues may come up regarding the situation. What it boils down to is this…we need to commit to understand…to do whatever it takes to ensure the employee trusts that we “get it.”
Helping
An HR Program exists to help facilitate a positive employer/employee relationship.
However, some HR Professionals forget there is an employee in that relationship; we sometimes forget we must represent both the employer and the employee. I know this is a shaky fence to sit on but nonetheless, we need to balance!
That being said, we must help every employee, potential employee and exiting employee. We should get them the information they need, we should act on their behalf, we should be their voice when needed, etc. In a nutshell, we must advocate for and serve them!
I won’t say these things are easy…I will never discount our profession and the challenges we are faced with every day!
However, as HR professionals, we cannot shy away from the hard stuff.
If we are to prove our worth, if we are to develop trust, if we are to be deserving of respect, we must listen, understand and help.
Tracy Hazen July 18, 2012 - 10:00 am
Question: I’ve been told more than once in my career that I “didn’t listen” to an employee complaint when in fact I did listen but didn’t do what the employee wanted me to do. Thoughts on how to handle this issue more effectively would be appreciated!
Heather Kinzie July 18, 2012 - 10:25 am
Hi Tracy! Tough situation, I know! What I always did was make it crystal clear to the employee that as his/her HR Professional, I would listen, I would research and I would analyze but that I would never assume or simply implement. That being said, it was clear to the employee that his/her insight was valuable to me but that I wasn’t simply going to take his/her word for something and/or do as he/she wished. I found this was helpful…especially when I followed up with the person and let him/her know that I had considered all the facts/options/etc. and that a decision was made…and that while it wasn’t what he/she had originally requested, it was the best decision I could make given the information I had.
Often, the employee was pissed, frustrated or otherwise. But it’s not my job to make people happy…it’s my job to the do the right thing. Provided I listened, understood and took what administrative action I believed was best for the situation at hand, I felt good about it! Hope that helps!
Brenda Hansen July 18, 2012 - 10:23 am
Heather, always good reading your post.
Curious about what are confidential parameters employees can expect. You always hear about doctor patient, client attorney confidentially. How much can an employee trust that they can have the conversation remain confidential?
Heather Kinzie July 21, 2012 - 4:29 pm
Hello Brenda! Thanks for the kind words. You raise a good question and the truth is, there is no “privilege” when it comes to HR conversations other than good faith expectations. I always tell the employee that I will be discreet, that I will try my best to keep things confidential but to do my job, to exercise due diligence, etc., I may have to “spill the beans” so to speak. I can commit to being discreet and professional but that’s about it. This seems to sit well with some employees but with others, there will be caution…so that’s where trust comes along! If they trust you, they will be more comfortable with knowing that you’ll try your best to keep what they said (specifics or otherwise) confidential.
Tiffany Kuehl July 18, 2012 - 10:40 am
Nice article Heather!
Tracy – What may help with future situations is to communicate with the employee what your process is for invstigating concerns. Let them know you will do what is necessary to address the issue raised. I recommend asking them what they want to see happen as a result of the issue being raised (if they could solve it, how would they want it solved)? But also let them know you can make no guarantees. As you go through the investigation, keep the lines of communication open so the employee knows what is happening with their situation. When you inform them of the outcome, let them know why it is what it is – especially if the outcome does not align with what they want.
Thanks,
Tiffany
Heather Kinzie July 21, 2012 - 4:26 pm
Ditto to all!